tekHedd – the blog

A friend apparently ran afoul of the quotes engine in my blog.

I noticed a very clever (albeit fallacious) quip at the bottom of your blog: “Absence of evidence for God is evidence of absence, when the evidence should be there and is not.”

Sometimes evidence is missed by inept and misdirected investigation.

Thanks for pointing out that I’m unobservant and misdirected. I’ll have to remember this opening line the next time I’m in a philosophical discussion. (I’m probably also arrogant and insensitive, due to my godless nature. But, I digress.)

So you’re saying I’m not looking right? The right way, the way in which I see whatever I want to see? You’re telling me that the right way is to look such that I see what you want me to see? I just want to see what is actually there.

[Note: What usually happens at this point is that Christians will all nod to each other saying “But there is plenty of evidence for the existence of god.” “Uh huh, there is!” “There is!” “Yeah!” Nobody will produce any evidence at this point.]

There’s an old country-western song, “Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.”  Al Capone, the notorious Mafia don, could not be convicted for “lack of evidence.” They finally got him on tax fraud, but they never could prove his other criminal activities.  O.J. Simpson was declared innocent for “lack of conclusive evidence.” ( I will spare you countless other examples of apparent “lack of evidence.” )

You’re talking “legal evidence” here. There was “no evidence” against Capone because nobody would testify against him. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t plenty of real evidence. Do you believe Al Capone was a Mafia Don because in your heart of hearts you “just know?” No, you’ve heard dozens of reports and there are books about it with information from dozens of different observers.

Unlike Al Capone, God has not threatened to kill anybody who turns up proof of his existence; this is different. There just isn’t any proof to see.

I won’t go into the hundreds of other examples of trials in which we’ve let people go just because, in America, we can’t execute people based on whether it “feels like” they probably are guilty.

Jesus said, “He who has seen me has seen the Father.”

I have not seen Jesus. Have you? (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

He is the light of the world, and makes it possible to experience the presence of God.  Your blog responder who had no luck with “Seek and ye shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you” may not have searched hard enough and may have given up too soon.  Jesus said, “I am the door:  by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved.”  Read John 10, and get back to me.

How many times have I heard this accusation? “You didn’t look hard enough!” or its close relative “You were never a true believer.” Seriously…do you really think I haven’t done any reading? The more I read the less I believe.

Let’s read John 10 together. [Get your Bibles folks! KJV reference edition for me!]

It starts with threats. “There is no other path than me,” says our charismatic cult leader (and barn door) Jesus. “If you come by any other path, you are no better than a robber.” Then a short story about how screwed you’ll be if you follow someone else. But lest you think he’s a tyrant for this, “I am the good shepherd.” Yes, you see it’s for our own good. If you follow someone else, they’ll desert you in your time of need. But he’s committed. “I would die for you” he says. Oooh, that’s good. Willing to die for me is very convincing. (Although it turns out to be just emotional manipulation, and he doesn’t really follow through, see http://162.243.68.163/?p=1582 for my opinion on the Easter Sacrifice.)

“The works I do in my Father’s name, they bear witness to me.” Well… of course we have the bible’s account of miracles, but then if you go through the old testament you have a LOT of interesting accounts,.. the question of miracles in the bible is a completely different discussion. Suffice to say here that if you made the same claims today nobody would believe a word of it. Which is why we need a 2000 year old book, unverifiable, written in a time before cell phone cameras, as a basis for our religion.

“But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep.” Oh that’s good. Telling us why we don’t believe. I would say nonbelievers don’t believe because you haven’t given them reason to believe. But Jesus tells us that the real reason is because nonbelievers are “not real Christians,” protecting his power base. Now those who follow can summarily dismiss skeptics as “not good enough.” This of course makes them feel good, and lets them continue believing what they want.

“And I give unto them eternal life.” Conveniently unverifiable promise. Nuff said.

No wonder they wanted to stone him. “We’ve heard this one before!” There were dozens of Christs in those times (Christ = “the anointed”) and hundreds of prophets. And, in those days, the peanut gallery didn’t just throw peanuts. But he gives them pause with the convincingness of his next words.

Here follows the famous but not very well-written speech in which he basically says “I am the son of god because I do miraculous works and vice versa”. Since he doesn’t actually do any magical works at this point, and this claim is in fact blasphemy, the crowd decides to stone him after all. He uses his divine powers to run away successfully, and went “beyond” Jordan instead, where, as it is vaguely stated, “many believed on him there”. Jesus escapes to greener pastures.

To recap: In John 10, Jesus tells us that he’s the only path, he promises us eternal life, gives believers an easy way to dismiss the questions of nonbelievers, and claims to be the son of god. The crowd is utterly unconvinced and tries to kill him. He runs away.

This is supposed to convince me of the truth of Jesus’ divinity?

This is the real problem with appealing to the Bible and only the Bible as your single source of truth. I don’t believe it is a divinely inspired document. Why would I? Because you told me it is? Because I want it to be divinely inspired? It sure doesn’t convince me on its own merits.

I’m not claiming to have higher truth here. I’m not claiming to have magical insight that lets me know things other men do not. You are the one making these claims. So? Back it up with something other than just this one self-contradictory collection of stories assembled by a group of priests, with the tie-breaker vote cast by a ruler. Give me something other than this very interesting but clearly unmagical book. Your ancient book, while interesting reading, just doesn’t really convince. It’s fun to believe it and think you’re “in the club” sometimes, but it’s just a game.

This year, the US National Day of Stoning falls on May 4. As usual, this date is directly after May 3, so you can stone unbelievers and heretics freshly purified from the Day of Prayer. Hands that throw do more than lips that pray!

Why stoning? As I said on last year’s day of prayer:

Yesterday you defied our secular, Islamist government by praying loudly to Jesus in public. Today, it’s time to do good, locally. It’s time to demonstrate your patriotism. It’s time to stone heretics and heathens.

It’s an ancient tradition. Honor killings have been practiced for centuries to strengthen and purify communities. Stoning unbelievers completely to death is optional, but going “all the way” does prove your piety and discourage retribution. I discourage honor killing, because it is illegal–for now–and we should all obey the law (unless your church leaders say it is OK to break it). But who can blame you if you get carried away! It’s such a great feeling to loft a nice big ornamental stone, confident in the knowledge that you’re not the one being stoned.

Some might say that a Day of Stoning is unfair to atheists, or that it favors religions that promote stoning over those that do not. Don’t be ridiculous! Most major religions support stoning (read your Bible!). Anyway, it’s only just the one day. You still have 364 days of godless constitutional law and equality. Even if it was every day, it’s not a violation of anybody’s rights, because you don’t have to participate if you’re not religious. Just leave the country.

Of course, leaving the country isn’t he only way for heretics to indicate to other, godly people that they don’t want to participate in the fun. You can also stay indoors, wear a burkha, or easiest of all, be male and obviously straight. (If there’s any question at all about your masculinity, it’s best if you stay indoors.)

Last year, Satan’s Minions killed the Day of Prayer, but this year it is alive and well! Like a zombie, although obviously not wandering around, moaning and trying to eat your head. Now that you’ve spent the day praying and enjoying your religious freedom(*) inwardly, it’s time to enjoy religious freedom(*) outwardly! Grab a rock and go to town! Literally!

* Note: “religious freedom” in this context applies to Christians only

Easter is coming, and Christians know what that means. You get to hear the story of how Jesus made a huge, miraculous sacrifice for us. Again. With lots of songs, a long sermon (if you’re lucky, you have a preacher who makes interesting ethical points instead of just using the canned sermon from his weekly recommendations newsletter), and afterwards, bad coffee.

Jesus has a really bad day

I haven’t been to an Easter service in many years, and still the story is branded into my brain. A brand is really a scar; over time that scar has been fading and healing somewhat, as scars do. Now that I’m less focused on ignoring the repetition and have examined it more objectively, I’ve had some new thoughts. (Oh no, not thoughts!) In particular, there is a huge contradiction between “great sacrifice” and “miraculous resurrection.”

Based on the story I was told, I don’t think Jesus really sacrificed anything. I was taught, year after year, that he knew in advance that he would be alive again after three days. This is carefully pointed out to us as part of the Easter story, to make sure we all know he prophesied the event. So, according to the story, Jesus knew he would not be dead for long. Sure he was afraid of a little pain, but it’s to save all people, forever. Right? So, a day of terrible pain, three days dead (in hell or not depending on whether you believe in hell), and then bam he’s in heaven ruling creation on the right hand of god. What an awesome miracle! And a great sacrifice?

As it’s portrayed in the story, no, it’s not a great sacrifice really. But it would be, if we were being told the grown-up version of the story! It’s the Little Red Riding Hood Effect.

Once upon a time, there was a story about a little girl in a hood. In this story, Hoodie Girl unwisely talked to strangers, and then her grandmother unwisely opened the door to strangers, and they were both horribly eaten up. This story is supposed to frighten little children thereby teaching an important lesson about walking alone at night and talking to strangers. The story is violent and tragic; fortunately for weak-willed parents, there is a “preschool” version of the story where a woodcutter arrives “just in time” to save Hoodie Girl. There is also a “wussie preschool” version, in which the woodcutter even arrives in time to save grandma.

In softening the story to make it less scary, some of the strength of the warning message is lost.

What if the Gospels of Jesus Christ are the “wussie preschool” version of his story? What if in the real, adult version of the story, Jesus, God’s son, is tortured to death?  And what if that’s the end of the story? Now that is what I call a sacrifice. This whole “oh but he’s not really dead, in three days he comes back” thing sounds a bit tacked-on, like the woodcutter bursting in and cutting grandma out of the wolf’s belly, whereupon she is completely OK and has learned a valuable lesson! “Oh no, the children are going to cry, I’d better think quick!”

If you must live your life based on the advice in an ancient fairy tale, you could at least use the grown-up version.

Watch for my new book “Jesus’s Really Bad Day” based on a true story! I’m also working on a new book about a little girl with a red hoodie who is chased through the neighborhood and shot by the neighborhood watch, except that a brave woodcutter arrives just in time. I’m still working on it.