It’s the National Day of Stoning Again!
This year, the US National Day of Stoning falls on May 4. As usual, this date is directly after May 3, so you can stone unbelievers and heretics freshly purified from the Day of Prayer. Hands that throw do more than lips that pray!
Why stoning? As I said on last year’s day of prayer:
Yesterday you defied our secular, Islamist government by praying loudly to Jesus in public. Today, it’s time to do good, locally. It’s time to demonstrate your patriotism. It’s time to stone heretics and heathens.
It’s an ancient tradition. Honor killings have been practiced for centuries to strengthen and purify communities. Stoning unbelievers completely to death is optional, but going “all the way†does prove your piety and discourage retribution. I discourage honor killing, because it is illegal–for now–and we should all obey the law (unless your church leaders say it is OK to break it). But who can blame you if you get carried away! It’s such a great feeling to loft a nice big ornamental stone, confident in the knowledge that you’re not the one being stoned.
Some might say that a Day of Stoning is unfair to atheists, or that it favors religions that promote stoning over those that do not. Don’t be ridiculous! Most major religions support stoning (read your Bible!). Anyway, it’s only just the one day. You still have 364 days of godless constitutional law and equality. Even if it was every day, it’s not a violation of anybody’s rights, because you don’t have to participate if you’re not religious. Just leave the country.
Of course, leaving the country isn’t he only way for heretics to indicate to other, godly people that they don’t want to participate in the fun. You can also stay indoors, wear a burkha, or easiest of all, be male and obviously straight. (If there’s any question at all about your masculinity, it’s best if you stay indoors.)
Last year, Satan’s Minions killed the Day of Prayer, but this year it is alive and well! Like a zombie, although obviously not wandering around, moaning and trying to eat your head. Now that you’ve spent the day praying and enjoying your religious freedom(*) inwardly, it’s time to enjoy religious freedom(*) outwardly! Grab a rock and go to town! Literally!
* Note: “religious freedom” in this context applies to Christians only
May 15th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
You might think: the government should not endorse stoning because it is illegal. But you would be wrong. Similarl to the National Day of Prayer; the National Day of Stoning does not constitute government endorsement of stoning, it simply encourages those who choose lifestyles that allow stoning to exercise their faith and strengthen their communities. Remember, when the government and I encourage you to pray, or to go out and stone people, this does not constitute endorsement of prayer, which is a personal choice, and stoning, which is illegal.