tekHedd – the blog

Well, I haven’t had much to say lately. This is partly because I’m too lazy to get out the camera and type up a blog entry, but also partly because there haven’t been that many “gaming experiences” in my life at all. Heck, I’ll bet I’m not even gaming more than 30 hours a week. And most of that has been racing games, and nobody really needs to hear how “Fatal Inertia” is about as disappointing as it is cool, or how I’ve been trying to finish Wipeout 3 (yes, for PS One). Man, that’s one hard game! And, yet, still somehow more fun than any of the racing games I’ve found for X360. Odd, that.

And then there’s adventure games. I’ve almost finished Sam and Max season 1 :luv:, and followed the simply amazing transformation of Tabula Rasa into a playable product, and gone back to City of Heroes (it’s more fun than I remembered), and cancelled my WoW account, run around in Dungeon Runners, and still found time to get started on Half Life Ep 2 from the orange box (surprisingly un-innovative and at the same time tons of fun, can they do that?). So, I guess I haven’t been idle.

And at some time during this stultifying period of almost total non-gaming, I bought a new “accessory controller thingumie” that has captured my heart, or at least captured a few dollars, which is pretty

darn close. I know I’ve been cruel to a few peripherals in past blogs. (Sorry, Razer, but your products aren’t nearly as cool as they look.) So, let me take this opportunity to spread love liberally all over my now-favorite toy, the place my hand rests for hours on end, don’t look at me like that, the Nostromo n52 speedpad thingy. (I’m too lazy to take a picture of it, just look at the stupid pictures on their product page if you really must know.) It has almost three rows of keys, a bunch of stuff for your thumb to play with, and a mouse wheel. Even better: its software is high on function and low on flash, which automatically (and consistently) selects the correct configuration for my games. Even better, it supports four different keymaps per game configuration, or “loadout”, which can of course be toggled on the fly using any button, and so on and so forth. It’s functional, with little or no bling. Oh, there’s a new version coming out that has lit keys, which is very dumb–the whole point of the thing is that you never have to look down!

I feel like I got cheated for not checking this thing out earlier. I guess that’s because it’s such a plain jane controller–it looks just like my keyboard. Hey, I already have one of those…but I’m glad I tried it anyway (well, I was drunk). That d-pad controller under the thumb and instant access to three (red/green/blue) alternative keymaps means I never get lost on the keyboard. I really can’t gush enough about how great it is, so I’ll shut up. But if you are perfectly satisfied using wasd on the keyboard, you’ll be even more satisfied with this thingumie.

Now, it’s not a perfect relationship. The “spacebar” thumb button is a bit of a stretch, and that big yellow button above the d-pad takes about 80 pounds of force to engage. But I don’t care. I love it, flaws and all.

UPDATE! I haven’t really used the speedpad since I wrote this, because the buttons are hard to press and go down at a funny angle, while the quote ergonomic unquote wrist rest is at such an angle that the pad slides away while I’m trying to use it, and the rubber isn’t sticky enough to keep it in one place. This also makes the thumbpad more or less useless. The concept and features are neat, but the execution ius guaranteed to give you tunneling carp syndrome.

In other news, why the heck can’t we find a singer for our band? Argh! When you don’t need one, they’re everywhere…

Recently, a lot of MMO development teams have given up on their designs because they were different, difficult to implement, and innovative. The smart ones backtrack, and produce games that duplicate that “same old” experience. Why is this? Because a good franchise with killer art will sell faster than any of your so-called “cool” ideas.

Why should your dev team suffer? (More than you want them to, that is.)

Introducing YFO. Yawning Festival Online’s MMO engine saves you time and development effort by delivering in one package all of the same features you see everywhere. Pluggable modules duplicate everything you’ve already done, and your developers can spend all their time creating all-important “eye candy”. Consider these well known facts that I made up:

• 80% of gamers are happy with WoW’s boring, but nicely polished gaming system.
• 100% of WoW players are bored with WoW, and want to see something “different”, but don’t want to think.
• You’re guaranteed to get financing if you base your game on a popular movie or TV show.

YFO is a skinnable MMO that delivers a predictable, safe game experience to your consumers, but allows you to add one or two twists (chosen from a set list).

Designing a new game with YFO is simple.

Step 1: Get your Franchise On

OK, so granted you can’t just take any franchise and make a violent endless-grind game out of it. Office Space, while funny, doesn’t have much shooting in it. Sex in the City might go over well with the cybernauts, but not so well with the PvPers.

So, you need a franchise with some sort of world, and opportunities for endless violence. South Park, then. South Park Online (a YFO game) allows your choice of weapons, and for a truly iconic South Park experience, some of your favorite characters are NPCs in the game. Drop a few million on art.

Step 2: Choose a Character Class Engine

The character class engine is pluggable. You can choose one of the three standard skill tree systems or build your own module. The skills are all the same, and you can use the stock description and animations (“Lightning Bolt!”) or modify them. The players won’t notice the difference. Trust us.

Step 3: Feature Decimation

You may choose up to four things to change about the core gameplay engine. No developer changes more than this, so you shouldn’t either. If you change nothing, gameplay mechanics are exactly like World of Warcraft. Well, they are different enough that we won’t get sued too often. You can write your own mods, or use off the shelf feature plugins like these:

• Building Stuff – allows guilds to “build” structures, using a menu interface and a whole lot of online time!
• Breaking Stuff – allows other guilds to break their stuff by doing stuff that take a lot of online time!
• Control Points – allows specific zones to be controlled by different factions, based on arbitrary and confusing criteria!
• Crafting – choose from over 35 disturbingly similar crafting systems!
• Travel Systems – Mounts, vehicles, and magic powers. We got ’em. They all work the same, but with slightly different art.
• Guild Support – Guild support features are always the same, and we
  never add more. You can selectively disable some of them, if you find
  they confuse your customers.
• Cross-game Community Engine – Allows in-game chat and guild
  features to span multiple games, as long as all those games come from
  the same development house. There’s no good reason, we just did it this
  way!
• PvP and More – Allow players to PvP in instanced worlds and arenas,
  or experience the joy of balancing world PvP. Our new auto-nerf feature
  automatically detects which features to nerf by scanning the user
  support boards for keywords like “favorite”, “uber”, and “fun”.

But there are many more optional features. If you’ve seen it in WoW, we have it. We encourage customers to create one plugin for each world, to make it “unique”. One customer is working on a world with three variations from the WoW formula! Wow! But no need to get carried away; research shows that 83% of players feel most comfortable if your game is almost exactly like WoW. Our skinnable system allows you to deliver your trademarked intellectual property in a game engine that is Guaranteed Not To Innovate(TM), assuring you success!

Contact tekHedd for more information, and get started on your franchise MMO now.

YFO: Haven’t I played this game before?(TM)

One upgrade leads to another, and a third, and some breakage in today’s episode of “The Idiot Who Keeps Taking Apart A Perfectly Good Computer”.

What was the lame justification this time? My chipset fan was going berserk. Whine! Whine! Shut! Up!

“There’s only one solution”

Obviously, this is the world getting revenge on me for getting a new video card. First of all, now that I can use bigger textures, the disk has to load… bigger textures! Which means more disk I/O. And second, the chipset on my motherboard was right under the video card, where it can suck in nice hot air from the ramsinks. Horror!

There’s only one solution. Order a bunch of stuff from CrazyPC. While I’m at it, I can install some Scythe fans, replace the tubing coated with pink FluidXP wax, and maybe add some bling. The beverage of choice for this installation was Grolsch. Sorry, I do not have a picture of it. Oh heck yeah, check out all this cool stuff!

I chose a thick Panaflo fan for the radiator, because, hey, there’s room for a thick fan. That’s logic, that is!

Have you ever noticed how some of these electronic parts are shipped in a plastic box that is then wrapped in a plastic bag? Total overkill, but it does give you a “this product is very special” feel.

Also, the Scythe fans brag about how they are “Chinese made”. And labeled in like fifty languages, but.. not Chinese? Can Chinese read Japanese if it’s written in chinese characters? I’m confused.

I also have a dozen or so UV sensitive red molex connectors for the 4-pin power and fan connectors. Unfortunately, the male ones are on back-order. Guess I’ll install them later. They’re not really red, more of a flame orange, which suits me fine.

Having been burned by FluidXP in the past (or maybe I should say “Waxed”?), I will be using CrazyPC’s house brand additive.

I bought something like 20 feet of cable and 20 clamps. You can never have too many hose clamps. Never!

And, don’t forget the reason for the season: the thermalright chipset cooler, nestled in its eco-incorrect foam packaging.

While I’m at it, I want more UV light all through the case. UV light rules. So here are some UV LEDS,..

…and some UV molex connector illuminators!

Also, my cat Shawney will be providing assistance throughout the procedure. She likes anything that makes the computer produce more heat. And, of course, raw salmon.

<insert colorful heart icons here>

“I guess I’ll start with the fans.”

So, time to break it down. I guess I’ll start with the fans. The Panaflo fan comes with two connectors. This connector unplugs from the fan and can be replaced! I didn’t figure this out, and cut it. What an idiot I am. Fortunately, I have solder.

I mounted the Swiftech radiator by attaching it to one of the stock mounting adapters. I had to drill out the holes, but otherwise it’s just a question of finding screws the right length.

I guess it was time to take it apart and clean! Maybe I should make some sort of filter for the intake. But then the case wouldn’t be beautiful any more!

“…and should be fairly easy to mount”

Aside from that, disassembly is uneventful and boring. I figure I can swap the chipset heatsink without even fully disconnecting the motherboard. It mounts on two screws, and should be fairly easy to attach. I mean, what can possibly go wrong?

And the factory buzzer, um, I mean heatsink comes off quite easily, but I did have to be careful because there are traces on the motherboard right next to the mounting holes.

The thermalright comes with what can only be called “crappy” mounting hardware. First of all, there’s the foam that keeps it from tipping over when balanced on that tiny chipset heatsink. Some of the foam is on the edges of the bottom, which are at a different height. So they don’t work! (Sorry this is a bit blurry. Sunspots, I think.) This could cause problems. (And possibly it did…)

So, I inserted the screws from the back, using the (supplied) little black rubber washers to protect the motherboard, and quickly discovered that this product requires three hands to install: one to hold the heat sink, one to tighten the nut, and one to hold the screws in place. Four hands might be even better.

Also, it was hard to get to the other side of the board, so I figured I could hold the screws thusly:

Well, and that sort of works. Sort of. For fine adjustments. Too much risk of slipping and damaging something though! Oh, and guess where those big metal nuts stick up? Remember where the video card is? That’s right, they rest firmly on the back of the video card. Who designs this crap? So, I used some heat shrink tubing to prevent it from shorting out.

I think I can make it work now, so I guess I’ll try to clamp everything together. I think it’s funny that they give you this huge tube of heat sink compound for a tiny contact area. Of course, the fourth or fifth time I applied heat sink it got less funny. This tube’s plunger would stick, and then suddenly break free and release way too much compound. Bleah!

Once it’s mounted, it sure looks impressive. Supposedly you can even clip a fan onto it, but I’d be afraid it would destroy the chipset or motherboard. Anyway, it should be plenty of heatsink running passive.

Ick. Resting right on the video card.

“They must have included a spare.”

It’s at this point I noticed a little black grommet in the bottom of the case. Wow, that’s really cool! They must have included a spare. No, wait, that seems very unlikely… Sure enough, the rubber washers are soft enough that they the head of the screw passes right through. Which is bad. So, I took everything apart, substituted some paper washers for insulation, and reassembled everything. And it looks like one of the traces might have been damaged. Now I’m starting to get nervous, but
hey it’s just IDE2. What’s the worst that can happen?

So, eventually I got it all plumbed, and ready to fill.

When you buy distilled water, does it matter whether it’s artesian?

“I tried a lot of things.”

The time of the filling is at hand. I had a lot of fun watching the bubbles in the tubing, and periodically topping up the reservoir. I forgot to take pictures. You’ve probably seen it all before, anyway. Uneventful.

And this is where things go dark. It’s getting on towards 4 AM on Friday night. I attached the power supply, powered it up, and it won’t power up. After much testing and fiddling around, it’s pretty obvious that I’ve destroyed my motherboard. I tried denial, but it’s a bit difficult when your computer won’t even power on long enough to post.

Crap.

Yes, I tried another power supply. I tried a lot of things. It’s dead. :(

Eight hours of sleep, and a trip to the store later…

So now I am a proud owner of the decidedly mid-range ASUS A8N5X motherboard, which is world-renowned for its inability to support 1T memory timings with bus speeds over 220. (This motherboard was to be no exception, but that is a story for another time.) On the bright side, it does have an nForce 4 chipset that should support my current RAID configuration, etc etc.

“Second verse, same as the first.”

It’s time to do a repeat performance on the chipset install.

Removing the factory cooler…

Notice that ASUS put a piece of insulating material over the entire at-risk part of the chipset. Nice!

And… oh never mind, it’s just the same as what I just did. Second verse, same as the first.

The CPU is now closer to the reservoir than it was. This isn’t going to work, is it? Check out the kink in that tube! Some adjustment is in order.

Right, so with a bit of trimming, it all fits nicely. Looks like it should have excellent airflow now, too.

The case doesn’t glow nearly this much, but that’s the magic of digital photography. :) You can see that I added some of that “tubing wrap” stuff to prevent the top tube from kinking. I was skeptical, but it really does work. And of course it looks cool. You don’t really have to wrap the whole tube, you can just add little bits to the critical bends…

There’s just one wart. The VGA card is now in the top slot, which for some reason doesn’t have enough room to plug in the connectors without bending the case. Huh!

But if this is the only problem, I’m quite happy. I have a half decent overclock burning in right now, and those Scythe fans make basically no noise at all. I’m declaring it a qualified success. Raw salmon all around!