From my buddy, the president of Nigeria

January 2nd, 2008

I present this excerpt from a recent email in the bold/uppercase/italic form in which I recieved it.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVICE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATESTINSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT ALHAJI UMARU MUSA YAR’ ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

Are there really people dumb enough to think this letter came from the president of nigeria? :o I guess there are…

DR, TR, and Hellgate London

December 19th, 2007

I’ve been rotating through these three games lately (aside from the occasional Wii game). For those of you who have been living in a box, the acronyms stand for Dungeon Runners, Tabula Rasa, and Hellgate London. (Hellgate is the only one that doesn’t naturally want to become a two-letter acronym. “HL” just sounds wrong. But I wouldn’t stop playing it just because of that.) None of them seems strong enough to take a full-time hold on me, but none is weak enough to get bumped out. And now, I ask myself “why?”

Oh sure, they all feed the same addiction. They’re very similar in a lot of ways, but then most modern MMOs are. And if they’re so similar, why don’t I just pick a game and play it?

They’re all third-person, even though the aiming mechanisms are different. But, I’ve played so many games at this point that I hardly notice the difference between FPS, tab-to-aim, click-to-move–it’s all the same to me. They all feature some sort of grind, quests, stories, and weapon drops. The biggest difference, I think, is in the feel and appearance of the game world. TR has big, believable worlds, while both Hellgate and DR feature repetitive, autogenerated, instanced levels.

TR’s shared world is impressive and cool, which would be great if I liked people. But a lot of days I want to solo some instanced zones, quietly, by myself. Away from annoying people. People! Aaargh! Sorry. To its credit, TR does a good job of loot distribution, but after a day of work and even a few minutes in traffic, to log in and have your first kill of the day casually whacked out from under you just isn’t fun. (Insert discussion of how instanced worlds combine the social nature of an MMO with the relaxation of a single-player game here…)

Speaking of loot… These games are third-person, so you spend a lot of time staring at your own butt. This gives you a lot of time to contemplate your armor, and makes the importance of cool drops important. When am I going to get rid of these ugly pants! And so on. In Hellgate, I’m up to level 20, and I still think my clothes are pretty dull. But, then, it’s the apocalypse. TR doesn’t really focus on cool clothes, but the abundance of dye accommodates total fashion madness. DR, however, is the clear fashion winner–even though everybody looks the same, the armor options are “just wrong”, and the weapons are ludicrous.

Visuals aside, they play pretty much the same. Choose appropriate weapon (power, etc), hit enemies till they die, maybe run away if you start to get hurt. Collect drops. Manage inventory. Turn in quests. Taunt noobs on global chat. All that good stuff. All three allow melee combat with hand-held weapons, ranged weapons, and powers. DR is short on “hard” MMO features like pets and crafting, but that doesn’t change the core gameplay. Where they differ is in their strengths, not so much in the area of play style or game design, but in developer talent and inspiration:

Hellgate is a well-balanced game, with moderately interesting weapon upgrade possiblities, almost (but not quite) enough cool drops, exciting-but-not-stressful combat, and tongue-in-cheek storylines. It’s good all around. Primary weakness: has some very annoying bugs. [update: and I later discovered the minor issue that it was never finished]

Tabula Rasa is so amazingly polished and nice looking, that it’s unimpressive–but when you start running around the world and fighting things, it becomes interesting. The quests are dead serious, with any humor slipped in deadpan. The intense combat makes it great for an action fix and running  instances with teams, but it’s short on the social-fun side. Therefore, you can play a female without getting constantly harassed, but the down side is that your clothes are not fun.

And then there’s Dungeon Runners. I’d play the entire game just to read the quest descriptions. Too funny! It’s… simple, shallow, and fun. The recent update made the entire game more difficult, and it’s definitely less fun when you have to work for it. I really play it for the storyline. If the game forces me to group in order to level, I will drop my subscription, and then the whole issue will be settled. It’s not that good.

So, in the final analysis, I love TR, but it’s so serious that I need another game when I want to chill and have fun. DR may lose that spot, as the recent patches threaten to downgrade it from a romp to a grind.

Or maybe I just need warhammer.

In the Lull, Ratchet & Clank 2?

December 6th, 2007

I’m in a lull. I have three (count them, three) subscriptions to online multiplayer games, and I’m not using any one of them. Four, if you count the remaining time on my cancelled WoW subscription. Oh, sure, one of them is that $5/mo for Dungeon Runners, hardly a huge drain on the coffers, but it still counts.

Why not? Is it just that I don’t feel like gaming because I’m working a lot? But I’ve been gaming a lot on the console. I think the answer is my computer chair.

It’s a pretty chair. It’s all cloth, wood trim, big and comfy, plenty of room to slouch. But the desk is too far away, the arms don’t fit under the desk… as a gaming environment it fails utterly. And sitting at a desk is too much like what I do all day at work. Heck, it is what I do all day at work.

But I’m sure that’s not all there is to it. Maybe it’s that Mass Effect completely defocused my attention from online games, and quite possibly it’s because I decided to replay Ratchet & Clank 2 (chosen because 1 is loaned to a friend, 3 is sort of disappointingly short, and 4 is a very lame online game with no single player). And of course it’s still great, but (as ever) not as good as 1. And it’s also had me thinking–I played all these games in 4:3, normal TV mode. Now I have the option to play them widescreen, but it chops off just enough of the sky that you can’t see to play. Who decided that games must always do widescreen by clipping the top and bottom, anyway? So I’m playing a game that supports 16:9 widescreen in 4:3 mode on my widescreen TV. It’s sort of depressing, so I’ll stop thinking about it and get a beer.

Work’s over. Time for beer.

(edit) You know, the more I think about the cropping, the less sense it makes. When you crop the top and bottom, it’s like you’ve zoomed in a bit. But, in most cases, a widescreen TV is bigger than your old standard layout. Why zoom in, when the screen just got bigger? It’s backwards. The assumption is that you have more space, you should zoom out a bit. At worst, it should split the difference. Oh well. Enough ranting. Did somebody say beer?(/edit)

Oh, and I ordered the new SteelSeries keyboard. It should get here next week sometime. So I’ll either have to get back to the PC for some gaming, or bring it to work. Either way I’ll wear it out. Promise.