tekHedd – the blog

So, a week ago last weekend, I went out and got a life. It wasn’t a planned thing; I just somehow ended up out drinking all weekend. And of course I had a wicked hangover Sunday that made band practice into an act of pure willpower.

I don’t really like to drink that much–well technically this is a lie. I love to drink, but there’s the whole “death” thing that takes the fun out of it. But, man, there’s nothing else to do. Why is it that 100% of the people out “having a life” are drunk? “Having a life” seems very similar to “being an alcoholic”. If they are, in fact, the same, I can drink at home and save on cab fare, with the added bonus that I’ve greatly reduced the risk of waking up with a hangover next to a spectacularly unattractive woman.

So, this weekend, when I wasn’t standing around in a cold converted garage going deaf as part of my lifelong strategy to be an international rock star, I tried to finish Mass Effect. Naturally, I still haven’t finished, and I’ve clocked something like 60 hours and 250 saves. That’s 10 hours of gameplay, 10 hours of conversation, and 40 hours of walking. What game does this remind you of? Baldur’s gate!

Not since the original Baldur’s Gate have I spent so much time walking. And Baldur’s Gate was great, in its own way, just as this game is, but there was so much more plot in BG, whereas Mass Effect is, well, when you set aside the Visual Splendour(TM), the game’s pretty simple:

• Plot
• Inventory Management
• Shooting Things
• Driving a 6-wheeled RC rock-climbing vehicle
• Inventory Management

Ah, inventory management. Not since Dungeon Seige 1 has there been a game that makes inventory so boring. In old-school, D&D style games, inventory management used to be fun and easy, and getting new gear was sometimes actually exciting. If you have a +1 short sword, and you find a +2 Short Sword, that’s fun. Wow, now I have +2. If you find another +2 Short Sword, that’s uninteresting. In Mass Effect, it’s like you find a +1.9 Short Sword, and a +2.03 Short Swort, and a +1.99 Short Sword and you have to look at the three attributes of each one to decide whether it’s good. By the time you find an actual +3 Short Sword it’s not really that exciting. You can’t escape noticing that what drops is always almost exactly the same as what you’re currently using (ala Oblivion), and viola!: you’ve successfully removed the fun of having cool weapons. Of course, there aren’t any swords in Mass Effect, but really that’s not the point. Combine this with being totally sick  nd tired of driving a toy six-wheeled car around on nearly impassible terrain, and you’ve got everything bad. And yet now I’m into the plot far enough that I want to see the rest. And I will power my way through to the end, at which point I will with great pleasure turn off the hoover..um, I mean the X360 and remove this game from my life.

At this point, I realize I have sat through almost an entire work week of filler. Bioware, I hate you.

As I promised earlier, (and I was joking really, but…) I’m going to try to explain why Hardcore mode makes Hellgate London good. This won’t be difficult; we’ve all played Diablo II[*] And, what makes Diablo II really great? Come on, I know what you’re thinking! I’ll bet you’re thinking: “STFU that game sucks”, aren’t you? I knew it! But, the real answer has two parts: 1) rare drops, and 2) Hardcore mode.

As anybody who’s played WoW knows, rare drops are addictive, fun, and, well, pretty soon they’re addictive and not really very fun at all. But definitely addictive. And the joy of experimenting with different weapons/attacks/spells can keep you entertained for quite a long time, especially if you’re very tired or drunk. Even so, it gets old. About the time you’ve finished the game and are cruising along at a higher difficulty level, you notice that rare drops aren’t really that exciting any more. And here’s where you try Hardcore. And you die. A lot. This is when you realize that you’ve been dying multiple times on every boss. This is where the game changes. Let’s say I’m just cruising around casually whacking helpless demonic beings, and I see that flash of beige that indicates a rare creature, and the blue flash that indicates that it has a posse. In normal mode, you think “hooray, I can harvest more good stuff”. In hardcore mode, however, you think “Aaaaugh run away run away oh shit I’m gonna die“. Probably not verbatim, but nevertheless. Surviving an encounter becomes a major deal, and this turns “not being dead” into a huge rush. Huge! Surviving to level 14 and not dead suddenly takes on a whole new… what? Huh? Sorry?

Um, Ratchet & Clank has, apparently, shipped, and I didn’t notice. Got to run, I have to go buy a PS3.

[updated]
I have two more pointless observations about hardcore mode:

1. It adds a new choice to the game: boredom or death. Finding the balance point is tricky. You want to advance faster and fight tougher enemies, but death comes swiftly. This is especially painful if you’re trying to save skill points for later.
2. You’re continuously on the lookout for situations that could take you straight back to level 1, but at the same time, you’re forced to stay in slightly easier areas than you otherwise would, slaughtering seriously weak, helpless MOBs.

So, what, am I a total HGL fanboy here? Not really. The zones are beautifully detailed, but there’s a lot of grey, I mean a lot, and they get repetitive. The point here is that I don’t think it’s a great game, I just think it’s fun to play. :)

* — What, you haven’t played Diablo II? Sheesh. OK, well it’s exactly like Hellgate: London, but without the eye candy and with slightly more “staying power”.

I’m just sitting here on friday afternoon, watching software compile.

There’s another piece of software that I wrote that does all the work during this part. I don’t have to do anything at all. I’m just sitting here staring at a scrolling wall of text and watching the CPU meter go up and down. This could possibly be the best part of my job. Oh, the other parts are nice, but watching a machine do most of the work is very pleasing.

I said that it is dull; this is a good thing. If you write software for a living, and your job is not boring, you’re doing it wrong. Probably you should read some books on programming. My job is very boring indeed. I wonder if this means I’m very good. (I don’t think it works both ways.)

In years past, I would be playing NetHack during compilation. I still play it sometimes, but these days I don’t play games during compiles. Is this because compiles happen faster, or just because I’d hate to lose that “bored” sensation? Or maybe this is because programming itself is the game, and compilation is like the pre-rendered cut sequence between zones. Sadly, this is probably true. Oh well, my build is finished. Tune in next week, when I talk about why I think Hellgate London’s “Hardcore” mode makes up for any other flaws it might have, and about how much I despise MySpace.