Threads and Self-Help Books for the Recently Separated
Welcome to eHarmony: welcome to cookie-cutter eHarmony profiles. If these profiles aren’t fake, well, then no wonder all of these women are single.
I don’t know what I did in my profile, but the evil robot inside eHarmony has decided that I should go out with women who love to go hiking and camping and want an adventurous guy who wants to share those things. And of course, they all want somebody who is honest and sharing and all that, but come on who doesn’t? If the only thing you’re looking for in a man is that he’s honest, you’re admitting to having some serious trust issues. Seriously!
But it’s more than that, they’re all exactly the same! eHarmony tries to make poor writers more interesting by letting you check boxes for your good and bad qualities–have you noticed that everybody thinks they have the same good qualities? I would love to get my hands on the eHarmony database, not to do evil, but to do statistical analysis to see how many people think they are Easy-Going, Genuine, and Warm. While we’re at it, two of the three things you’re “most thankful for” will always be “Family” and “Health”, with good odds that the last slot will be some variation on “financial stability”, considering the economic situation.
Do I even need to comment on the pointlessness of the field “these are my three best life skills?” I would be willing to bet that you, the reader, are good at finding contentment and pleasure in simple things, and at maintaining a network of friends. Wow, what a deep insight into your character. I feel like I know you better already!
Just about the only useful information in the whole profile is “how you spend your leisure time”, and “additional information”.
Finally, and this is important, Ladies! Listen up! If the last book you read was “Eat, Pray, Love“, be aware that this is a self-help book for the recently separated, whose primary goal is to teach you that it’s OK be completely self-absorbed. Yes, yes, stop for a second… I know you’re reading it because a friend recommended it and you’re coping just fine and… can I finish here? I don’t care why you’re reading it, the point is that it looks bad. OK? Don’t blame me if guys (not me) assume you are coping badly with your recent divorce/breakup/etc, and are now going to be completely self-centered.
Also, it has been on the bestseller list for two years. Does revealing this information tell us *anything* about you except that all your friends have read the book already, and now one of them gave you their copy because, you know, it’s good, but it’s really not a keeper, you know what I mean, I’m not going to read it again, just throw it out when you’re done with it, OK?
eHarmony, the zero-information dating zone. Might as well just post a craigs ad saying “Warm, genuine SWF seeks LTR with similar guy, attach photo if you want me to read it looking forward to hearing from you!” It’s cheaper and will get you similar (no) responses from genuine, warm guys.
And then there’s this damn multi-threaded application bug
1) The first thing any tutorial should tell you about multi-threaded application development is this: there is virtually no way to test for or reproduce threading bugs. So, don’t use threads unless you really have to.
2) The second thing is that they should warn you about write reordering, even inside a lock. (So always use a lock, even if the variable is atomic, unless you’re darn sure order isn’t important.)
3) The third thing they should do is reiterate #1.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I remembered this from my Psychology 101 class:
“This technique of using generalized personality interpretations has been demonstrated by psychologists (Ulrich, Stachnik, and Stainton, 1963) using a quite simple experimential procedure. In this procedure, research subjects take a ‘personality test’ and then are given an interpretation of what the test revealed about them. The catch is that all subjects receive identical interpretations worded in a manner designed to fit most persons. Such a broad personality analysis might read something like this: You are not a stubborn person, but once you have examined the relevant facts you make up your own mind and stick to your guns. You pride yourself on being an independent thinker and are not likely to accept others’ opinions without satisfactory proof. You need to have other people like and admire you, but you won’t go to excessive lengths to win their approval. Whereas you have some personal shortcomings, you are usually able to compensate for them, and you have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not yet turned to your advantage. At times, you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, but at other times you are more reserved and wary. Some of your aspirations tend to be unrealistic, and you are not always certain you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You have a need for a certain amount of change and variety and become frustrated when hemmed in by too many restrictions and limitations.”
“An incredibly high percentage of people respond to such a meaningless conglomeration of personality statements as if the ‘interpretation’ were a precise, insightful view of themselves. Pychologists, however, have no investment in the need to please people by telling them only what they want to hear about themselves. To the contrary, psychologists work incessantly to rid their personality descriptions of unreliable, unmeasureable, meaningless terms that seem to fit everyone but actually fit no one accurately.”
From _The Psychology of Being Human_ by Elton B. McNeil
October 15th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Wow, that’s me! That’s me! … Oh.
It sounds like the goal of eHarmony’s matching engine (as currently implemented) is to get you to date as many people as possible without regard for compatibility. Fascinating.