Girls/Games/Music/Beer — Is this all there is?
It’s all so disappointing. Aion is an immensely successful and (from my experience so far) extremely dull and un-groundbreaking game. Women either don’t want to talk to me, are angry because we can’t be just friends, are angry because I only want to be just friends, or just simply can’t cope with the stress of maybe having to actually take responsibility for their actions. And music, gah, what a depressing, disappointing struggle it is to play music. Work your ass off, haul gear around, and then get completely screwed by your good friend, the band leader or promoter.
Fuck all this.
Now I know why people become workaholics. You work hard, things get done, you get paid. If I felt like I was being abused at work I suppose I’d hate work too. I guess it’s a good thing, but it’s also sad; the only part of my life that doesn’t seem like a dead loss is work.
Sounds like depression, doesn’t it? But I’m not depressed, really. Unsatisfied, sure, and maybe a little pissed off. I don’t even want a beer.
Wait. I don’t want a beer? Maybe I am depressed after all.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:03 am
I think being miserable comes in waves – and being happy is the same sort of deal. In absolute terms, you’re much better off than say, a political dissident in N. Korea, or a man with untreatable testicular cancer. Be happy you’re not one of them! On the other hand, you could be skydiving from your own private plane with 2009’s Playboy bunnies and everybody’s naked! Except for the parachutes, of course. It’s easy to get depressed when I conclude that my plans and goals have not led me to that ultimate adventure.
But in reality – in terms of quality of life – or whatever you want to call it – we’re all somewhere in-between those extremes, and the happiness/depression thing has more to do with the inner chaos of one’s psychology – than one’s actual position in life. That’s why we can be depressed, and then, with very little change in our life status, we’re happy again! It’s weird. Objectively, there’s almost no accounting for it.
Life is full of problems. They have to be dealt with – whether you’re happy or depressed. The secret is to know that happiness and depression aren’t so much connected to your day-to-day successes and failures – but rather, it’s how your psyche is running on any given day. Life is amazing – and humans only barely understand that. Most of the time – we’re too stupid to know that things are great.
“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death — our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.” –Stanley Kubrick
September 30th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Hmm, good points. What’s interesting here is that the pursuit of happiness appears to be the source of my disappointment here. When I don’t try to have any fun at all, I’m happy. Very zenlike.