tekHedd – the blog

There’s something that bothers me about the Christian idea of Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I like the carols, the tree, Santa Claus, all of the rampant materialism…I have no problem at all with all of the previously-pagan traditions. Some Christians think that these pagan themes are bad and distract from the core values of Christianity. But the reality is worse than that. Instead of making these pagan holidays Christian, what it has really accomplished is to make Christianity pagan.

When I say “pagan” here, I mean that in the way that Christians mean it: empty idol worship. It seems like there is a “real” side to Christianity, and a “idol worship” side.  The real side is based on the teachings of Jesus, or at least on the writings of a handful of people who claimed to know what he would have written if he had known how to write. The idol worship side is the worship of Baby Jesus. You’ve seen it in action. The way some Christians defend the nativity display on the courthouse lawn, you might as well put a golden calf in the manger. It doesn’t have to stand for anything, they worship the thing itself.

And then, a miracle happens!

What makes the Christian religion tolerable is that it has elements of ethics built into it. Jesus said more than just “Obey.” Oh yes, he very much did say “Believe and Obey.” But, he also said “for God’s sake think about what you’re doing, and how it will affect others!” A seed of rationality in a sea of blind obedience, hooray! Do unto others? You mean I have to actually think about what they might like? Wow, what a lovely change of pace from “worship me and make sacrifices.”

And then, as we approach the winter Solstice, a miracle happens: Christians set the teachings of Jesus aside, worship the “miracle” of his birth, and wallow in blind faith. Oh yes, and in rampant materialism, but do you know, that’s the *good* part of the holiday! Buying things you can’t afford for friends who don’t want them is a wonderful, positive, secular tradition that Jesus would surely approve of. But, giving gifts doesn’t make it OK to turn off your brain to every other kind of thought.

Christmas gives Christians an excuse to stop thinking and start blindly obeying. I don’t like it, but there’s no nice way to put it: I just don’t think I like the Baby Jesus any more.

Grown-up Jesus, now, he’s all right. I like Jesus after he disappeared for a few decades, presumably to go get a BA degree at an accredited state university, and then fall back on his carpentry skills when the art career didn’t take off, only to eventually re-emerge as God’s prophet and son, argue convincingly for church reforms, brotherly love, and an ascetic possession-free lifestyle, then be brutally and publicly murdered because his views did not reflect the majority viewpoint and the official religion of the state. The Adult Jesus of legend is a man who stood for change in the face of popular and government opposition.

Symbols and Icons

Baby Jesus, what does he stand for? Hope, maybe. That’s a lovely thought, isn’t it? But, as thousands of Americans are discovering during the Obama administration, you can’t eat Hope. Looking for deeper meaning? Babies don’t really talk philosophy, much. The only thing a holy baby is good for is mindless adoration. Baby Jesus surrounded by angels an shepherds and so on, that’s a symbol onto which you can impress any meaning you want. Does his birth fulfill prophecies? Maybe. It’s terribly convenient that none of the the six or seven actual reported witnesses to the birth produced any sort of written record, allowing you to… but none of this matters anyway. Today, Baby Jesus is an empty icon, upon which people can superimpose any message. How is this different from idol worship?

The cross in modern times also threatens to become an empty icon, as it has for centuries; but, in the end, it never does. The cross will always be a torture machine; even if modern “lifestyle” churches photoshop it to be friendly and stylized, you can’t forget its violent purpose. It remains a reminder that Adult Jesus was a man whose real crime was to speak openly about his radically liberal religious views. He wasn’t about to sit down and be silenced just because the majority didn’t want to hear it. I can get into that. Jesus had problems with authority, and was very confrontational. You can’t hide it; the cross represents the teachings of Adult Jesus.

We’ve learned from history. If Jesus were here today, he wouldn’t be tortured publicly, he’d disappear to Guantanamo. It was a mistake to torture him openly, because it made his death into a symbol. But I digress…

Baby Jesus represents the magical savior born to rescue us from our intrinsic corruption. Baby Jesus represents the “Believe or Die” “Join or Perish” aspect of Christianity. He represents this in abstract, without logic or discussion. This Jesus must be believed in at all costs. Baby Jesus is the idol of the fanatic, the extremist.

We All Suck

Why are we told to believe? That we are corrupt, that we need Baby Jesus to save us from our intrinsic horribleness, this is the core of Christianity. I’m surprised that nobody ever notices the horrible negativity of this philosophy. Is there anything more cynical than the concept of original sin? Of course, it has some benefits for the believer:

1. Your corruption isn’t your fault
2. You don’t have to do anything to save yourself from it (in fact you are incapable of it so don’t bother trying),
3. If you believe, you get a free pass on all the bad things you’ve done,
4. Someone is here to tell you what to do about it. No thinking necessary!

Isn’t that nice! You can externalize all of the bad things you’ve ever done, and you don’t even have to feel bad about them because you’ve also externalized the source of your bad intentions. With Jesus, you get to let go of responsibility for everything you’ve ever done, and everything you ever will do. Baby Jesus is the symbol of this complete abdication of responsibility, and is the core of Christian faith.

I’m not saying that Christians are irresponsible. But clearly they have that option! By simply “feeling bad” and praying, a Christian has the option to dodge all responsibility for their actions. They’re “forgiven,” so there is no compelling reason for them to be “better.” With an out like this, you would expect most Christians to be insufferable hypocrites, wouldn’t you? Surprisingly and fortunately for the rest of us, most Christians take personal responsibility for their actions.

I, personally, don’t see how God’s judgement on Eve can be inherited. That’s totally unfair to everyone and really mean. I don’t see why anyone would want to worship a god like that. If he made us, the world, and the corruption within it (it says in the Bible that he did), then he is responsible for these things. Telling us that it is our fault is just God externalizing his own failures. Weak! So obviously I don’t buy into that.

Everybody Likes Babies!

Even if you don’t buy into the cynical lie of original sin, Adult Jesus still has a lot to say. Yes, he makes the point of periodically reminding you that if you don’t believe, you’ll perish. Oh noes! But fear is only a small part of his message. Oh sure, without faith, a few of his statements lose impact. For example: “blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” That’s very nice, but why? Because he said so? He really can’t back these statements up. Even so, these statements still have merit at face value as spoken by a normal person. Every other philosopher has the same weakness; they may not work miracles, but this doesn’t discredit their words. Adult Jesus is still thought-provoking even if you don’t believe. It’s hard to dislike A.J., even if you don’t think he’s magical. Pretty good for a carpenter.

Baby Jesus, in contrast, has nothing to say. Without faith, he’s just a baby! It’s hard to dislike any baby, isn’t it? Still, we wouldn’t put a display of your cousin’s second child out on the courthouse lawn, would we? Probably not. You can’t help liking the little Baby Jesus looking all working class in his manger. But you’re not supposed to like The Magic Baby, you’re supposed to worship it. Adore it. Mindlessly. It might as well be made of gold.

Worshiping Baby Jesus is kind of like worshiping Obama. What a waste! Both offer Hope, but neither has produced visible Results. And, you know, they both might be black.

Enough Already

OK, I’ve rambled on long enough. Either you get my point, or I’ve bored you into a stupor and you’re not even paying attention to what you’re reading. Baby Jesus has become a Golden Calf, and the hypocrites pray to him louder every year. Hey, maybe the end times are really coming after all?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 21st, 2011 at 3:36 pm and is filed under Misc. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.